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Club E-Zee

by Luk3Holm3s

Description.....

Posted: 08.12.10  |  Last edited: 09.12.10

Category:   |   Reads: 176 reads   |  Comments: 5

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Entrance is easy

The bouncers don’t stop many

You’ll get in for free

Inside you’ll know plenty

 

Come in look around

There’s so much to explore

But this is far from sacred ground

nothing more than a whore

 

Fall in love with this place

Could happen quite easy

But look at the others that have been here

And the place just looks sleazy

 

So insecure this place needs to be filled

If there’s no-one around that’s worthy to enter

The place has emotion but is far from strong willed

If your passing you’ll get in and observe from the centre

 

Why waste my time in such a place

In my eyes you’ll see soul

And doesn’t mix well with mace

 

Choosing sex, ahead of your soul

Stay the fuck away from me

and go get ‘your hole’ Club E-Zee

Comments

Shanemitch

Wednesday, 8th December 2010 | 07:50 pm

Member | Points: 147

Well written my friend. As a young teenager myself it is sad of all the stories I hear from my mates saying the did it last night then producing a pic or vid to prove it, The rhyming is brilliant and it all sticks and flows really well.

Great work.

Kerkedijk

Wednesday, 8th December 2010 | 09:35 pm

Member | Points: 5030

Luk3

A very fine write, nice rhythm and rhyme.thumbs up

portdweller

Wednesday, 8th December 2010 | 10:13 pm

Member | Points: 6488

Yes, Luke, the clubs can be truly evil places, often violent and dangerous too...  Vividly written...

And  I like your message..Choose soul!!!!  

Odilon

Wednesday, 8th December 2010 | 10:49 pm

Member | Points: 2912

A good thought provoking write Luke :thumbs:

A couple of edits I noticed - last line 2nd stanza - I think should be than, rather than then. Last line 4th stanza 'your' should be "you're"...

Luk3Holm3s

Thursday, 9th December 2010 | 07:58 pm

Member | Points: 395

Thanks guys.. Ill make the spelling edits asap..

This wasn't meant as an attack on the club scene at all.. I love going out.

It's a metaphor for a loose woman, maybe I didn't make this clear enough, I thought it was clear when I was writing it or maybe I'm thinking to complex and making my stuff unreachable.

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