One Night

Descriptionhttp://blogdeyeya.blogspot.com/2011/05/one-night.html

Added: 1 year 2 weeks ago  |  Last edited: 1 year 1 week ago

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Grant me this one night. For as long as it lasts, don't allow the heavy luggage to reach the threshold, leave all the rocks outside this door. Fill the minutes of these hours with the darkness of the night, the splendor of the moon and the warmth of the candle lights illuminating these four walls. Water our conversation with the white wine in our glasses; make its sweetness perennial and so strong that it masks the salt in the tears that devastate my days. Embrace silences and look deep into my eyes in the search of what you once saw. I need to star in this tale to help me escape from the truth that is draining my veins. You are not to worry, the past months have made me wise enough to know the limits of this fantasy. The remains of tonight will bring me back from the dream. Tomorrow I will fight the need to linger at the hole left by you: the fragrance on the side of the bed that you once owned, the outline of your lips on the glass, the melody of your voice inside my head, the last water drops of your shower on the curtain...Let that be tomorrow. Tonight there will be no questions, there will be no thoughts. Let us enjoy this lie and make it last until it is unveiled by the bitterness of that last kiss when you say goodbye.

Comments

Oh this is powerful stuff, Mireya - such sadness and longing to make a moment remain.

A couple of suggestions...

'For as long as it lasts, don't allow the heavy luggage to reach the threshold....'

Remove the comma after 'so stong,'

'Tomorrow I will fight the need to linger at the space left by you' This is just a personal opinion as I thought 'hole' was a bit jarring. I quite like the idea of a 'watering hole' though, as if the writer was being nourished by this person and now that will no longer be the case, but like a thirsty animal she returns to the place in hope.

A very strong piece. thumbs up

My Dear Mireya,

This is a Beautiful heartfelt piece.I see it not up to me to analyse it but rather to interpret it's core message of unconditional Love.

It also appears to be a Desparate love ..a love in Denial.

My heart is with the writer .....haven't we all been there ? :)

Love and only Love
Huggy Marko
xoxoxo

Dear Seaview, the amount of spelling mistakes my pieces would hold if it weren't for you...Once more, a big thank you. Thank you not only for reading what I write truly understanding what lies between the lines, but also for taking the time to correct the mistakes I make. I am still in the search of a better word to 'hole' as I don't think 'space' fully describes the lacuna left behind.

Mark, I'm glad you liked the piece. It flatters me that you did. Indeed, this need to wander off, far from reality, is in many of us. Thanks for your comment.

Mireya

Hi Mireya,

I enjoyed this little tale.

 

Cheers

Amy

Thanks Amy!

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