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VI

cgmcderm | Added 28 June 2010, 11:59 PM | 381 views | 22 comments

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The spruce of snow.
Winter
On Molly Malone's
Left breast.
Walking down Lemon Street
The lights at our back,
The wind in our faces,
A Polish quartet
Twisting music
From four broken violins,
Brown Thomas never
Looking so well.
Chocolates glow
In the smiling windows of
Sweetshops.
Children's faces,
Wet with excitement,
Gushing up and down pathways,
Look like animals to us.
And I looked at you,
Saw streetlights,
Saw headlights,
Saw you turning away,
Down Lemon Street,
Down the long avenue
Of our lives.

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Comments

VI – magnolia – 29 June 2010, 3:14 AM

cqmcderm:

I cannot comment on the poetic merits – as I am inept. However, I loved the images this evoked and simply swooned at the last four lines.
:thumbs:

Kate

Aine – 29 June 2010, 7:43 AM

This was a great read. I was completely 'sucked in' and enjoyed your place descriptions, which meandered around Grafton Street gently and pleasantly, until being floored by the ending. I didn't see it coming.
:thumbs:

Aine
x

Buttercup – 29 June 2010, 4:37 PM

Ahhhh, Grafton Street. Thanks for bringing it alive for me in this piece. One of my favourite streets. Loved the ending too.

cgmcderm – 29 June 2010, 5:26 PM

Thanks all for your comments! Inspired, in no small part, by the Guinness Christmas ad. so I can't take al the credit

You've made my day

Colm

Aine – 10 July 2010, 11:38 AM

Hi Colm,
I am so pleased to read that this won June' Best - I thought that your images were so well crafted (the ad men spent millions on the Guiness one, I heard!) and I still find the ending sends a tingle down my spine, after having read this numerous times.
Well done. :thumbs:

Aine
x

Cheeno – 11 July 2010, 1:54 PM

Most enjoyable, especially with the journey down Grafton Street. I miss Dublin!

Brighteyes – 12 July 2010, 6:11 PM

catchy imagery colm, love the line' twisting music from four broken violins'.

muscles – 12 July 2010, 8:52 PM

Congratulations Colm, great imagery a well deserved win.

margaret

Shoshanna – 16 July 2010, 7:15 AM

Beautiful imagery and a lovely write… :thumbs:

cgmcderm – 16 July 2010, 11:44 AM

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. I'm thrilled, and not to mention completely surprised, to have won the monthly competition. Judging by the previous month's winners I'm in some spectacularly talented company.
Thanks again to everyone who's read who's given feedback

Helen46 – 19 July 2010, 9:24 PM

Congrats Colm, a lovely write and well deserved winner :thumbs:

Helen

Kerkedijk – 20 July 2010, 10:07 PM

Your writing is so amazing, so visual, colourful, flavourful, tasteful, scentful - you have awakened everything in me in this poem - simply a wow factor so well done on winning the monthly poet award, you totally deserve it

Buachaill Boy – 21 July 2010, 9:29 AM

Winter
On Molly Malone's
Left breast.

Was it still summer on her right one? A wonderful write, really enjoyed it. thanks

Seaview – 25 July 2010, 9:23 AM

I absolutely adore anything to do with Christmas and this was wonderfully atmospheric. 'Down the long avenue of our lives' is a fantastic line. Well deserved! :thumbs:

Odilon – 25 July 2010, 7:33 PM

As the others have said there is great imagery in this piece and like Cheeno I found myself transported back to a place that I too miss today.

VI – James F Linnane – 29 July 2010, 10:44 PM

A lovely poem,a mixture of cheerfulness and nostalgia.I once wrote a poem about Grafton St,not as nicely worded as this one.I can picture your poem.Well done.

MJEnright – 03 August 2010, 6:03 PM

Beautifully crafted .Loved the images of Grafton Street .Congrats .MJ

VI – cgmcderm – 03 August 2010, 6:20 PM

Wow, still overawed by the response this poem has got. Thanks everyone for your kind words of encouragement. You've really given me the confidence to keep going.

Thanks so much,

Colm

Seaview – 04 August 2010, 7:16 AM

You have definitely got to keep going Colm - "More!" "More!" they cried… :thumbs:

setanta59 – 09 August 2010, 9:34 PM

Hi Colm
I just came across your poem, well done on poem of the month, it's well deserved.

cgmcderm – 12 August 2010, 3:43 PM

Thanks everyone for your kind words of encouragement. I've stuck another poem up and if you get a chance to read it I'd be honoured. Though it's a bit of the difficult second poem syndrome I recon!

Thanks again!

Colm

Tracey – 15 August 2010, 10:41 PM

Loved this! First piece I read after joining.
Knew I was in the right place.
Thanks Tx :cool:

Edited 09 September 2010

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