Editor's Choice Review - How NOT to Write a Novel

We live in a world swamped with books on how to write, all of which pander, with varying degrees of success, to the vast army of nascent novelists amongst us. It is, very much, an industry in its own right, somewhat comparable to the even vaster self help industry. Picking the right book for you, should you feel the need of one, can be a daunting task. I, myself, have read only a couple over the last decade or so, preferring to do things the hard way and learn by trial and error. Just as well I'm a masochist. The fact is, however, that a lot of time and wasted effort can be saved by consulting the better of these books and How NOT to Write a Novel by Sandra Newman & Howard Mittelmark is not only one of those better books but one of the very best.

What makes this book such a joy to read is the tack the authors have taken in outlining the things you really need to do to ensure that your novel never sees the light of day. We are taken through the intricacies of developing plots that will sink your novel, characters that will send the editor/agent to sleep (and spare potential readers the same fate), and narrative, dialogue and settings that are silly, indiscrete, inappropriate, offensive or just plain cringe-inducing. There's a chapter on writing sex scenes, telling jokes and taking a post modernist approach to your magnum opus. And finally, there's good advice on the worst ways to write cover letters and synopses, how to format your novel so it ends up in the editor's bin and a host of other useful ways to guarantee that all your blood, sweat and tears have been for nought.

What emerges is an astonishingly useful and highly entertaining guide on HOW TO write and present your novel and give it the best chance of success. Even if you're not a writer, this book will give you a wonderful insight into the mechanics of what goes into the writing of books and what poor editors and agents have to wade through in order to bring you the books you end up reading.